Three days ago I was wondering in my house, I was going here and there with no purpose as I was just done with the findings of my Doctorate degree. As long as I was so happy I was worried and stressed at the same time. As I was asking myself, what shall I do next with these findings? Will it end up in the same place as my last articles and researches? In fact, this is not a subject of negotiation; I am in the deep of myself and psych not ready to see these findings and the efforts of all my years, sweet and tears go nowhere as I will not be able to use them to benefit others.

The fact that by finishing the research my worries started, and while I was in this state of mind, my eyes felt on one of my favorite books in my small library; it was the Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. Holding the book in my hands, and reading the introduction of the book once more after the many hundreds times I’ve read before; It seemed to be the first time to read it, as I had a new awareness for the question he had raised in his book which is why do most of the people don’t confront their dreams, I was reading the introduction as if it was the first time.

According to Paulo Coelho, there are four main reasons why people don't confront their dreams as follows:

First; Our beliefs about ourselves

We were told from our childhood that we are not able to achieve our dreams and that we have to follow the social context in living the life that is liked by others and seen by them as the right life for us. So, we were programmed that everything we want to do is impossible. So, we grow up with this idea and as the years accumulate, the fear and guilt are grown as well in the deep of our souls. And by the end, there comes a time when our personal calling is so deeply buried in our soul as to be invisible. But in fact, it is still there, calling us from time to time, making us feel not at our best and not happy with what we are doing in life, till one day; we wake up to the fact that our past life is in fact with no real value to us and others regardless the materialistic success we have achieved and the social acceptance we are enjoying. 

Second; Love

Once we try to achieve our dreams and know what we want to do in life exactly, we will be faced with the second obstacle: Love. We know what we want to do but we are afraid of hurting those around us by doing our best to pursue our dreams. The fact that most of us don't realize that the real and genuine love must not prevent us from pursuing our dreams, it must be the real motive for us to do so. So, when the people around us are trying to prevent us from pursuing our dreams, we must think about the fact of this. 

Third; Fear of Defeat

The fear of the defeats is a very normal feeling for most of the people especially in nowadays. Most of the people are afraid of the defeat because of the first reason mentioned above. People are not believing in themselves properly and they are seeking for the social acceptance whether this acceptance is right for them or not. People must realize that the fact in pursuing any dreams they will suffer more than others. 

"We who fight for our dream suffer far more when it doesn't work out, because we cannot fall back on the old excuses."           Paulo Coelho 

When we start working hard on our dreams and take the right steps toward it, it will be very hard for us to say that we don't really want it anymore. As we know in the very deep of our soul that we need it and that this dream is now everything for us. That is why trying to lie to ourselves is nothing more than delaying the ultimate suffer we have to face one day as a result of not working on this dream. In this time we can't go back to where we start and we will know that the path of our dreams and personal calling is not an easy path, we will know how hard this path is, but we will realize that there is no way out for our soul and heart. So we have to prepare ourselves to accept the challenge and to know the reality of this path. We have to be very patience in difficult times and we have to know that the universe is conspiring in our favor even if we don't understand how.

Many ask the question "Are defeats necessary?" The fact is Yes, they are necessary and we the dreamers and the warriors of light must and will face them in our path with no way out. Defeats are there only in the paths that lead to the light, they are there facing the real warriors and the creators of the future. Defeats in most of the times are not facing the mediocre people, those who are living their life in the shadow and give up their dreams and their personal calling on the earth. Defeats in the fact have many advantages to the dreamers and the creators of the future, every defeat we face have the equivalent seed for growth and development. Defeats, in fact, make us stronger and better version of ourselves. Once we overcome a defeat and we always do; we are filled with a greater sense of euphoria and confidence. In the silence of our hearts and souls, we are proving to ourselves that we are worthy of the life and its miracles. We know that each day and each hour is part of our good fight toward achieving our dreams and saving our souls from being lost. We start living with energy, passion, enthusiasm and pleasure. The good news we the warriors discover later is that the unexpected suffering passes more quickly than the unbearable suffering from not trying to achieve our dreams. The suffering from staying still not trying to achieve our dreams is killing in our souls on a daily basis, the years go on, without we notice what is happening in our soul, until one day, we are no longer able to free ourselves from the bitterness and it stays with us until the last day of our lives causing us mental and emotion drain. 

Fourth; The fear of Realizing and Achieving our dream

The day we are about to achieve our dreams and realize them, we decide to kill them ourselves.

"Each man kills the thing he loves."          Oscar Wilde 

And this is true, most people before achieving their ultimate success and realizing their dreams, people before achieving their dreams in life are filled with guilt. We always look around at all those who were not able to succeed in life and we feel that we don't deserve to get what we want in life either. We forget about the obstacles we overcame, all the suffering we endured and all the things we had to give up in order to get this far. Many people fell into the trap of committing series of mistakes just before they achieve their dreams. 

This is the most dangerous obstacles; because it has a kind of fake saintly aura about it; renouncing joy and conquest, people must realize that giving up your dreams has no benefit at all for anyone. If you believe in yourself and yourself worthy, you will become an instrument of God. You will help the soul of the world and you will understand why you are here. 

Nabil El Hady is a well-known author and blogger. In addition to writing “The Secret Compass”, he is the founder of the “Generating Ultimate Success from within” methodology. Nabil El Hady is the number one coach working with people in their mid-life crises. He has his Doctorate in “The Impact of Psychological Contract on Mental Health” giving him a deep understanding of how people perceive themselves in all areas of their lives. He helps shift their paradigms and thoughts through his “Seven Step Process toward Ultimate Success.”
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